Among this year’s prize winners are three in the crime-fiction category. This top vote-getter comes from Mark Wisnewski of Flanders, N.J.:
Wearily approaching the murder scene of Jeannie and Quentin Rose and needing to determine if this was the handiwork of the Scented Strangler--who had a twisted affinity for spraying his victims with his signature raspberry cologne--or that of a copycat, burnt-out insomniac detective Sonny Kirkland was sure of one thing: he’d have to stop and smell the Roses.The runner-up in that same category is Highland Park, N.J., resident Andrew Baker, who sent along this death-row digression:
Five minutes before his scheduled execution, Kip found his thoughts turning to his childhood--all those years ago before he had become a contract killer whose secret weakness was a severe peanut allergy, even back before he lost half of a toe in a gardening accident while doing community service--but especially to Corinne, the pretty girl down the street whom he might have ended up marrying one day if she had only shown him a little more damn respect.A “dishonorable mention” has also been given for crime fiction, the recipient being Basil McDonnell of Vancouver, B.C., Canada. His submission reads as follows:
The victim was a short man, with a face full of contradictions: amalgam, composite, dental porcelain, with both precious and non-precious metals all competing for space in a mouth that was open, bloody, terrifying, gaping, exposing a clean set of asymptomatic impacted wisdom teeth, but clearly the object of some very comprehensive dental care, thought Dirk Graply, world-famous womanizer, tough guy, detective, and former dentist.The full list of this year’s Bulwer-Lytton prize winners and runners-up can be found here. Rules for entering the 2012 competition are here.
(Hat tip to The Little Professor.)