A Great Idea

I don’t know about you, but I am frequently tormented by the reasons behind our reality. My excessive reading is a by-product of trying to understand existence. That’s why I am so interested in existential works of fiction and non-fiction, and why crime and thrillers feature so heavily in my reading. The view of life from the edge (where crime fiction resides, in terms of context) is often the one most prone to reveal insight into why we’re here.

So, despite the fact that I already have my hands pretty full with writing posts for The Rap Sheet, working for the e-zine Shots, and reviewing books for January Magazine (not to mention the onerous responsibilities of my day job), I’ve decided to open up a new blog, where I can share some of my more esoteric musings about reality and existence. That starter site, Existentialist Man, will naturally have a leaning towards crime and thriller fiction, but I’ll be looking at the genre from an existential viewpoint.

I guess that my having studied analytical chemistry fueled my desire to understand why things are the way they are. And being an active member of the Royal Society of Chemistry (RSC), I was amused to read about that group’s new Masterminds Competition. It seems that the RSC has been casting about for ideas of what happened to gang leader Charlie Crocker (played by Sir Michael Caine) and his cabal after the cliffhanger that closes the 1969 movie The Italian Job.

As I noted last year in The Rap Sheet, UK screenwriter Troy Kennedy Martin had in mind a very different conclusion from the one that ended up on-screen. Now, actor Caine has revealed his own answer to the question of the fate of Croker and Company. As the BBC reports:

The 1969 film ends with a gang of gold thieves hanging over a ravine in a bus. Every step they take towards the loot threatens to tip them into the abyss.

“Hang on lads, I’ve got a great idea,” says Sir Michael’s character, Charlie Croker ... and then the credits roll.

The star says he would have saved them by “switching on the engine”, burning off petrol until it righted itself.

“I crawl up, switch on the engine and stay there for four hours until all the petrol runs out,” he said.

“The van bounces back up so we can all get out, but then the gold goes over.”

“There are a load of Corsican Mafia at the bottom watching the whole thing with binoculars. They grab the gold, and then the sequel is us chasing it.”

Sir Michael first revealed his version of the events in a BBC One documentary marking his 70th birthday, but gave fuller details at the 2008 Visit London Awards this week--where he was named London’s favourite Londoner.

He even suggested that the alternative ending had been filmed in 1969, but producers later decided against using it.

Maybe. Perhaps. Then again, the RSC might come up with an even more plausible ending, as its representatives sift through submissions to this Italian Job competition. Results are expected to be announced in early January. The RSC is using its contest to promote a greater understanding of science in 2009, which marks the 140th anniversary of the invention of the periodic table of chemical elements, as well as the 40th anniversary of the original Italian Job’s release. (A lesser remake of that film, starring the lovely lovely Charlize Theron came out in 2003.)

As the BBC explains:

Dr. Richard Pike, chief executive of the RSC, told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme that Sir Michael’s explanation was just “one of those many plausible routes to securing all that gold”.

“I guess what we’re looking for are the detailed calculations to show that, if you were to burn all that petrol off, would it be sufficient to allow the coach to balance?”

Dr. Pike added that almost 1,000 entries had been received for the competition, despite the stipulation that “the judges will not accept any solutions that involve the employment of a helicopter”.

“Beyond Michael Caine’s own proposal, which a number of people have put in, others have suggested jumping out of the bus and going down and getting the gold,” he said.

“Others have suggested superconductivity and the use of magnetism--although some people have pointed out, quite rightly, that gold is not magnetic.

“Other options involve even melting the gold, using the burning of the petrol, and in a sense sucking the liquid gold towards the fugitives.”

Because questions surrounding The Italian Job’s conclusion have troubled existentialist thinkers for so long, the British media haven’t been content to wait for the Royal Society of Chemistry to announce its findings; they’ve been excitedly investigating this important matter on their own (see here, here, here, here, and here). If you can share any idea at all of how that 1969 caper film ought to have ended, you have until the close of this year to contact the RSC in London. Full details of the RSC competition can be found here.

And there’s more to be said on the subject of unresolved film endings right here.