With Six You Get Eye Rolls

Like the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, the annual Six-Word Mystery Contest—launched back in 2017 by the Rocky Mountain Chapter of Mystery Writers of America—is designed to be just plain fun. Each fall season the call goes out for six-word whodunits in different categories. And months later, the winners are announced.

A news release has now brought us the results for 2022. It explains, first, that Fort Collins, Colorado, resident Rita A. Popp is the overall competition victor this year with her sure-to-produce-a-chuckle entry “Magician escapes gallows when witness vanishes.” (That same submission triumphed in the Police Procedural division.) The release then goes on to report all of this year’s winners and finalists.

Thriller:
Winner: Born triplets. But three’s a crowd. (Twist Phelan)
Everyone looks the same inside out. (Dara Carr)
His daily picks weren't lottery numbers. (K.D. Horton)
It looked like an innocent package. (Sue Hinkin)
She opened the door. Never again. (Cindy Martin)

Romance & Lust:
Winner: Too many husbands. Just enough funerals. (Matthew Porter)
A kiss to die for. Done. (Erika Jakubassa)
Close shave nearly nicks private dick. (James A. Hearn)
She killed to remain a mystery. (Seth Pilevsky)
Tennis Killer's lament: "All for love." (Rita A. Popp)

Cozy:
Winner: Cause of death: folding fitted sheet. (K.D. Horton)
Bookstore cat was really a rat. (Sue Hinkin)
Cat poisons librarian reading by fireplace? (Tia Karelson)
Every mousy victim disemboweled—a hoo-hoo-hoodunit.
(Jeffrey Lockwood)
Possible weapon, a prized blueberry pie. (Elaine B. Johnson)

Noir & Hard-boiled:
Winner: Trouble finds me. Redhead, this time. (Eric Yoder)
Embezzling mortician uses corpse as bank. (K.D. Horton)
Hungover with a gun and corpse. (Kristen Gibson)
Plotting his comeuppance dragged her down. (K.D. Horton)
The Bolognese perfectly disguised the blood. (Barbara Nicholson)

Police Procedural:
Winner: Magician escapes gallows when witness vanishes.
(Rita A. Popp)
Beat cop murders to make detective. (Tia Karelson)
Identify them. Catch them. Incarcerate them. (Barbara Nicholson)
Sheriff cries, dismembered corpse, his wife. (Elaine B Johnson)
The suicide’s hands lacked gunshot residue. (Daniel Royer)

Yes, some of these are definitely more humorous than others, and a couple of them didn’t work for me at all. But that’s the thing with humor: it doesn’t hit everyone in the same way.

Previous Six-Word Mystery Contest winners can be found here.